R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
