Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
third nipple confirmed
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
