this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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