You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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