he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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