Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
