So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
