I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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