oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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