hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
