In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
