We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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