Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
