That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
