sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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