She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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