You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
