Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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