They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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