i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
