i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
