There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize