We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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