yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
