I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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