apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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