Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
