everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
