She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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