We're facebook friends in real life
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
