D3 body, D1 cock
so that wasnt chicken after all
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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