I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
