So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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