I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
