If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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