a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
