I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
