ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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