Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
