Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
