I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
