sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
