does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
