We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
