This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
