you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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