If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Everything about him screamed your future.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
