You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
