I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize