im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
