walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
