I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
