i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
