I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize