What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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