i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
organizing the empties. That sober.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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