Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
