What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
