Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
