i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
