I cockslap morals
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't deserve a penis
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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