Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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