every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
