we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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