I am midnight drunk by noon
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
