i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
