You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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