don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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