Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
