no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
from now on my penis is your penis
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
