I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm getting married
To pizza
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
