so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
