it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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