Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
